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Mending Relationships - God's Way

Humans in general have all had a time, probably more than once where we have experienced a broken“fence” in our relationship with God, friendship, or kinship. In these times, it more than likely seemed that whatever had happened, made us or the other individual want to walk away. While we are reviewing methods of mending relationships - God's way, we know that we often become intolerable of certain behaviors. Some are justified, but we must remember exactly what God tells us to do.

We know that in our relationship with Jesus Christ, He will never walk away. However, He also expects us to mend our relationship with Him, and ask forgiveness when we need to. He needs us to be fully dedicated to doing His will, and following His commandments.

 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1John 1:9 (KJV)

Some individuals are slow to speak, some speak without thinking it through and some just turn the other way and walk off. The latter is the best policy, but so many people lack this virtue. When words are said and deeds are done, they cannot be reversed. This is why God urges us to:
"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." 1 Corinthians 15:33 (KJV)

If we are professing to live for Christ, it should be easy not to offend in deed. However, the human nature is often weak. If you believe in God, you must believe that there is a Satan who wants to tamper with our salvation. He wants us to fail, and be lacking in Christ. These things ought not to be, but often happen.

Sometimes it is not that simply. Often, when dealing with earthly relationships, the incident that caused the need of mending, was more acute when it happened, then it is now. As we think about it, and want to make things right, there may not be the opportunity or we may not think it will help. Hurts of the heart is something that heals with time, often it takes a lot of time, but is it never okay to just to walk away without an explanation? Especially, if you are a person with the right character and desire to serve God.
Even if it is infidelity within a marriage, where there are children, forgiveness, and explanations are necessary. Betrayal is hard, it is devastating, but to move on, one must reach to God for help in getting their life back in order. (Another article).

Everyone has their own perception of when to try to mend a fence, and when not to. However we are told to forgive, and is never okay to hoard a resentment, a grudge or something that might could be explained. When we carry un-forgiveness, resentment or hurt for a long time, it is only hurting us. When we forgive, the burden lifts, and we become free.
Here is What the Bible States:

“Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him along: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” Matthew 18:15 (KJV)
There is a times when it is better to keep quiet, pray, asking God for guidance. Very often wounds need to heal. If one acts too soon, it could prolong the recuperation from what has happened. You see, if both parties do not have the desire to mend the fence; it cannot be mended. Neither you nor I have the ability to do it by ourselves; it has to be three some. You, the other person, and Jesus, it is always wise to take Jesus along with you. If you do, your motive will be right, your attitude will be right, and He can help the other individual to see the sincere effort.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
This scripture tell us that we should pray for ourselves, to make sure we are where God will answer our prayers.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalms 51:10 (KJV)

Mending Relationships Takes Courage

We must realize that we cannot control another individual’s response to us, it can becomes necessary that we do one of two things, we continue in misery or we let it go, keep praying, and move forward. We really have no other choice but before we let go…move on…we should step back from the fence and see if we are in some way responsible for the broken fence. If we are, then we should find the courage to say, I am at wrong, I made a mistake, I have fumbled the ball and I am sorry.
I read something just recently from a contributor in a magazine that has asked the question, who had given them the best advice. Their response was, their husband had taught them to be quick to realize a mistake, and quick to say, “I’m sorry.” Great advice to learn and we all know that those two words are very hard for some people to say. Some people just do not say them period. Now, that can be a problem. Why, because we all make mistakes, we are never always in the “right,” never! If we were to know this person, we would have died and gone to heaven, right?

Forgiveness, Self-Control and Respect
“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;” Matthew 5: 23.24 (KJV)
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: ”Matthew 6:14 (KJV)
Forgiveness is a part of mending fences for sure and moving on with clarity of what we need to remember for the future. Never repeating the same things again, learning from our mistakes and making sure we polish the fence every now and then with good things to make the relationship better. I think it is kind of like listening before we jump to conclusions and not acting out of desperation or frustration. It is something called “self-control” and respect. 
This says it all
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
— Thomas Stephen Szasz
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."
— Mahatma Gandhi
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
— Maya Angelou
"This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to do for them, repeatedly, as many times, as is necessary. For example, in your case you always forgot who you are and how much you are loved. Therefore, what I do for you as your friend is reminding you who you are and tell you how much I love you. In addition, this is not any kind of burden for me, because I love who you are very much. Every time I remind you, I get to remember with you, which is my pleasure."
— James Lecesne


Mending relationships is a part of the good life, not any of us need to or want to lose someone who is important to us. We certainly, do not want to walk away from God and His love, as we would clearly be without hope.
Sometimes things happen for a reason, the reason is not always clear. God tells us to love our enemies, and pray for them who despitefully use us...AND
“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.” Luke 6:35 (KJV)

I hope this is a blessing and encouragement to all who read. 

Linda Todd